ROD 041611

ROD

Saturday, 16Apr11

 

High Rock Saturday

We scouted out a new location to perform our ROD tomorrow at the “ROCK”… Be Ready.

Triple Triplets

20/20/20 work for 3 minutes at each triplet with a 1 minute rest in between each set of triplets.

  • KB Single arm swing L
  • KB Single arm swing R
  • KB Alternating single arm swings (letting go at the top of the swing & catch)

            1 minute rest

  • KB High Pull
  • DB Thrusters
  • DB Runners

            1 minute rest

  • Air Squats
  • Half Burpees
  • Diamond sit-ups

Take another 1 minute rest and perform another round.

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***Warning***… This article is not meant to offend anyone in anyway. It is only meant to be a clear observation to a sad condition.

You're Fat Because You're Stupid Logo

Don’t Be Stupid. Get Smart, and Stop Being Fat!

I have put together a no holds barred, blunt statement about body fat. If you are overweight, you can do two things: 1) Be offended, hit the back button now, and go cry and eat ice cream like a pathetic fatty, or 2) Read on, get smart, and lose weight.

Fat woman with belly hanging out of her dress

You’re fat because you eat too much

Let’s just start with that. If you’re fat, you’re eating too much damn food. Period. It’s not your paren’t fault for giving you the “fat” gene. It may be their fault that they made you like food so much, but for once in your fat life let’s stop blaming other people, OK?

But I can hear you whining already, like you always do. You don’t *really* eat much, right? You might even go so far as to say “But, I only eat salad”. Yes, I’ve heard that before. Guess what, “salad” didn’t come inside those Big Mac wrappers in your back seat. All 25 of them. You lying piece of shit, you eat a salad in front of everyone when you go out to lunch and act like you’re eating healthy then you go home and down a quart of ice cream after your fried chicken.

If this relationship is going to work, you need to be truthful to not only me, but yourself. Look in the mirror right now and say, “I am a big fatbody because I eat too much damn food.” There. Now we can move on.

You’re fat because you want to be

Yes, you want to be fat. If I woke up tomorrow suddently as fat as you, what do you think my reaction would be? Do you think I would say “Aww, wahh I’m fat, I sure wish I could lose weight” and then go eat three Big Macs and a diet Coke? You bet your fat ass I wouldn’t, I would be working like hell to get rid of the disgusting fat. I guarantee you that if through some weird science experiment my brain was placed in your fat body I would be fit and running a marathon within a year.

But you, no, you’re doing nothing, are you? Your “salad” for lunch and diet Coke with your fried chicken is all for show. They require no effort. Yet you want credit for it, don’t you? And you want people to think “Well damn, that fat fucker must be fat because of their unfortunate genes, I saw them drink Diet Coke yet they’re still fat!! That’s too bad.” But nobody thinks that, everyone knows why you’ve got more rolls than a sushi restaurant.

Lady with a large fat ass sitting in a chair

The slim people around you didn’t get “lucky”

This is actually something I find extremely offensive, when fat people chide me for watching my diet. “Oh, you don’t have to worry about your weight!” they’ll say to me if I turn down sweets or extra portions. Guess what you fucking fatty, I’m not fat BECAUSE I “worry about my weight”. I ran 20 miles this week. I made a healthy lunch and brought it to work every day. What did you do? Oh, you sat on your ass and stuffed your mouth full of food, that’s right. And then you have the nerve to tell me that I’m fit because I got lucky.

When my bodyfat percent goes up a couple percentage points I adjust my diet. That way I always stay where I want to be. It’s like balancing your checkbook. If you just write checks willy nilly you’re going to overdraw your account. You’re doing the same thing by paying no attention to how much weight you’re packing on while eating whatever you want. Don’t fuck yourself up by your own doing then discount my own hard work. It’s insulting.

You’re fat because you don’t exercise

Yes, the human body was meant to move. Sitting on your ass all day isn’t helping matters. Don’t give me any crap about “But! I don’t want to kill myself at the gym!” Oh I see. Would you like to go hiking? Biking? Skiing? Play sports? Or would that kill you too? If so, you’re going to die on the couch. Living life like our bodies intended isn’t making the rest of us fall down and croak.

ThighMaster product image

You’re fat because you want a shortcut

Did you ever buy any “workout” equipment advertised on late night TV? How about miracle diet pills? Got a ThighMaster in your closet? Or some stupid little gizmo that’s supposed to help you do crunches and tone your abs? You do? You know why you have that? Because you’re a FUCKING idiot, that’s why!!!

Because you’re afraid of hard work and actual self-dicipline, you tried the easy way out, and made someone else richer because of it. None of that crap works, but it’s easy to sell. Why? Because stupid people buy that shit. And who are they marketing to? Fat asses. And why are they fat asses? Because they’re stupid. Case closed. You fatties buy the stupidest stuff, your heads must be shoved deep inside your fat asses. Stop buying stupid shit!!!

It’s not your thyroid

Do you know how many fat people have a thyroid problem? Less than 1%. Unless you’ve gone to the doctor and he told you that you have a thyroid problem then the problem is not your thyroid, it’s your hands shoveling food into your fat fucking mouth, that’s what the problem is.

If the problem is your thyroid, then your doctor will treat it and it will no longer be an excuse anyway.

X-Ray Image of a fat and skinny person

You are NOT “Big Boned”

Are you fucking kidding me? Is there some relationship between the bones inside your body and the fat rolls on the outside? No there isn’t. The fact that I can’t tell where your neck ends and your face begins is because of fat, not “big bones”. You don’t have bones over your abdomen, you have fat rolls. Seriously, can you even feel any of your bones?

Look at the xray pictures on the right. Does the fat person have big bones? No, they fucking don’t. They have fat. I’ve even heard some fatties say they have “thick skin”. Are you really that stupid? Skin isn’t three inches thick.

Oh wait, your argument is that your “big frame” naturally has large muscles on top of those big bones, so you’ll never be able to be as thin as those “rail thin models”, right? This is an interesting mental problem with fatties. “If I can’t be *that* thin, I’ll just be REALLY fat instead!!” Does that make any fucking sense at all??

Guess what, no matter how much lean body mass you have, you’ll still look good without fat covering it. Even if you really do have more bone and muscle, it in no way causes you to carry more fat. If this were true bodybuilding would be impossible because all those men and women (many of them “big boned”, as those people can build more muscle mass) would be big fatasses.

You don’t have “curves”

“I have curves!” No, you fucking don’t!! Fat rolls do not equal “curves”. A woman with curves has nice lines that taper down to a slim waist, hips that curve out nicely and shapely legs. Just because you have a big wide ass doesn’t mean you have “curves”, especially if you look like the Michelin Man. If your gut is hanging over your belt, that’s not a “curve”, that’s disgusting.

So, now that we’ve got that out of the way, what do you do about it?

How to Lose Weight

OK, let’s talk about weight loss.

Eat less than you need

Fit female measuring her hips

If you consume less calories than you require every day, your body will pull the extra calories it needs from the stored fat on your body. Conversely, if you consume more calories than you need, your body stores those calories as fat. It really is that simple.

What you need to do is figure out a combination of eating less (consuming fewer calories) and moving/exercising more (burning more calories) so that the difference betweeen the amount you’re eating and the amount your body needs is enough to cause your body to start losing weight, but not so great that your body freaks out and makes you sick. Don’t try to diet by eating almost nothing!! Your body still needs a minimum amount of nutrients per day to fuel itself. Some recommendations are to go no fewer than 1,200 calories/day.

Forget about the word “diet”

You are not “going on a diet”. There is no miracle combination of Acai berries and cabbage soup that will make you lose weight. There isn’t a magical substance unique to you that you need to find by trying fad diet after fad diet until you “find the one that works for you.”

You are making a lifestyle change. You must think of it this way or you will never keep the weight off. You are fat because of your current lifestyle. A temporary diet will not fix things.

Think portion size

This is the cardinal rule of maintaining a healthy weight. If you’re overweight, you need to eat less. Take your current portions and cut them in half. Or 2/3rds. That 500 calorie cheesburger? Cut it in half, bam, now it’s 250 calories.

Instead of 6 eggs and 6 strips of bacon for breakfast (800 calories) have 3 eggs and 1 strip of bacon (300 calories). No matter what you eat, think portion control. Eat a reasonable amount, just until you’re satisfied. Not until you’re “stuffed”.

You may be a little hungry after you start this! That’s because your stomach is used to carrying so much food. It will take time to shrink down.

A bunch of healthy food, vegetables and fruit

Think healthy food

Now that you have portion size under your control, start thinking about what kind of foods you are eating. Now that you are eating less, you want to make sure that what you are eating contains good nutrients for your body. Foods high in fats and carbs and low in proteins and vitamins are not doing your body good. You want your body to do more with less food.

A greasy cheeseburger is high in saturated fat and sodium. The calories you are getting from that fat are not going to do any good in your body. It is supplying you with an energy source that must either be used up by activity, or it will be stored. A salad with lettuce, tomato, bell peppers, avacado, mushrooms, and topped with a grilled chicken breast is high in protein, fiber, and vitamins. Your body will use most of this food for building your muscles after exercise and maintaining normal, healthy bodily functions.

A good, low fat protein source such as chicken, tuna (and other fish meat), soybeans, etc. is essential to getting your body much needed protein without the overhead of extra calories from fats that you don’t need. Low calorie-dense foods like vegatables provide you with vitamins while taking up space in your stomach, helping you feel “full” without providing you with an abundance of calories.

Get with the (Exercise) program

Exercise, the poor man's plastic surgery

Exercise at least three times a week. The easiest exercise to start right now is walking or jogging. You will burn almost the same amount of calories for any given distance covered whether you jog it or walk it. Jogging however, greatly increases the demands on your body’s muscles and cardiovascular system resulting in your body strengthening itself to meet the demand. This results in more muscle mass, more efficient cardiovascular system, and more calories burned *after* your run while your body rebuilds your muscles.

Weight training is also a good way to build muscle. When weight training it is even more essential that you eat sufficient protein and vitamins to allow your body to rebuild itself stronger. The increased muscle mass takes more calories to maintain, effectively increasing your metabolism.

Either way, excercise is essential, not just in general but especially while you’re losing fat. Without exercise, your body will start to canibalize your muscles to make up for calorie deficits. Exercise will cause your body to maintain and even strengthen your muscles, and pull the extra energy it needs from your fat stores.

Stick with it

You won’t get results if you don’t stick with it. Don’t get discouraged. If you’re not losing weight, it may be one of a few things:

You may still be eating too much. Little snacks throughout the day can add up. Make sure you’re not sabatoging yourself by eating high calorie snacks in between meals because you’re hungry. If you need a snack, have something like celery with a little peanut butter, or an apple or other fruit.

It might take a little more time for your body to start responding. Many times the body will refuse to drop weight immediately, because it’s used to you eating so much for so long. When you stick with the new diet, your body will eventually say “well OK then” and start to pull from its fat stores.

You may be losing fat while building muscle. You should get a good bodyfat scale that gives you your bodyfat percentage as well as weight. Merely going by weight is not enough, your bodyfat percent is what is important. A 140lb woman at 18% bodyfat looks much better than a 140lb woman at 40% bodyfat. Don’t put so much importance solely into how much you weigh.

Yummy chocolates

Don’t feel bad about “cheating” now and then

If you entirely cut yourself off of some foods, you will end up craving them so much that you finally give in and pig out. Do this: every couple weeks, or once a month, go ahead and have that twinkie, or cookie, or pie, that you’ve cut out of your diet. Have a little bit, enjoy it, and look forward to next time. Most of us have “bad” foods in moderation. It just has to be kept to a minimum, especially while losing weight.

You’re on the gas, eventually you can coast

If you’re starting from a standstill and want to merge with other cars on the freeway, you need to hit the gas. While you’re accelerating, your car is working harder than the other cars even though they are going much faster than you are. It may not seem “fair” that your throttle is at 100% and theirs is at 5% but they are going faster. Eventually, you reach highway speed though and you throttle back and maintain that speed.

That’s how your weight loss is going to work. Yes, you’ll have to work harder than people who are already thin in order to get there. However, once you do get there, you can work out a little less intensely. You can cheat and eat a bit more food than you have been.

However, if you let your foot off the gas, eventually you’ll be stopped again while everyone else is passing you at 60 mph. Stay on it, and your life will be an enjoyable ride.

Good luck!!

Comments

  1. It’s a good thing I had breakfast before I read your post Donald….yuck.

  2. Omg Don I’m literally cracking up at this article you posted. Another reason why I love my gym. Thank you lol

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