ROD 090911

ROD

Friday, 09Sept11

500

 

On the minute, every minute for 20 minutes perform:

3 Burpees
7 Push-Ups
15 DEEP Body Weight Squats

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Financial Advice

by The Finance Guido

Frivolous Spending Alert: Health Clubs and Personal Trainers

Last evening, the Finance Guido was strolling along the rain covered sidewalks of Hoboken, New Jersey when it happened. No, I didn’t find a quarter silly (though that would have made me happy). I made the mistake of walking past the yuppiest health club in Hoboken, a money pit called Club H Fitness. Club H Fitness is the typical yuppie cesspool where surrounding air reeks of a combination of meathead and skank (a guido paradise). To make matters worse this dump has an overpriced initiation fee and monthly dues that rival your Camaro payment.

Anyway, I was looking at the sidewalk trying to find some coins (seriously, this is another reason why I walk everywhere) and at that precise moment I was compelled to look up. The sight was unbearable, there was a line of meatheads (about five deep) staring at themselves in the mirrors (checking their form I am told). It gets better. By the same mirrors, I noticed a girl (she looked perfectly nice), but she had fallen for the “Personal Trainer Scam.”

The only thing I hate more than health clubs are health club employees (specifically, Personal Trainers). Does anybody really need a personal trainer? I could understand using a personal trainer if he/she were free of charge. However, these crooks in workout clothes are charging over $80 per hour to watch you workout.

So, let me guess this straight you have to pay for the privilege of joining this dump, then you have to pay to walk into the gym and use the equipment, then you have to pay $80 an hour to hire someone to watch you run on a treadmill or use an elliptical machine. Sign me up. I have a few grand to throw away. I once had a girlfriend who spent about $10,000 to have a personal trainer wake her up, so she could go to a few exercises an hour. I don’t even think she lost one pound that year.

Do you think our forefathers belonged to Colonial Health Clubs? Can you imagine George Washington and Thomas Jefferson spotting each other on the bench or John Adams sipping whey protein shakes with Alexander Hamilton? Our forefathers used the land for their workouts. Are people too afraid to run outside? Do you really need a conveyer belt to help you run? You pay taxes to your local school district go for a run at their track. Buy a jump rope for a couple bucks and exercise at your home. Our community parks provide ample opportunity for workouts, be inventive. Why must we flush our money down the toilet?

Most people who join Health Clubs don’t even use them. Some joined as a New Year’s resolution and others joined to boost their self esteem. You pay your membership dues and/or initiation fees and then show up a couple times a month (if that). But, you feel proud of yourself for joining. Soon, you don’t even go at all and you have paid a ton of money to belong to a Health Club full of suckers. You are smarter than that. The only way a health club is worth it is if you go every single day. That is impossible for most, so most people should not join health clubs. Even then it is probably still not worth it. You can do the same work outside or you can buy your own weights. Do you remember when Rocky Balboa fought Ivan Drago in Rocky IV? Drago was training with the top of the line equipment in this gym/lab while Rocky was chopping wood and running up snow covered mountains. Do I need to remind you who won that fight?

 If you want more advice from the Finance Guido let us know by posting to comments or FB.

Comments

  1. Sad but True and Funny

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